A most fascinating, interesting and scary situation to lose a reference point.
In this case to not be with someone I love deeply.

I was lying here in bed trying to sleep.
Maybe even trying to figure out and name emotions, to even know what my position is.

I found out

I don't know who I am, I don't know where I am.

It's a blank? or just a fundamental fear when the rug from under is pulled.

What is it that gets that rug pulled up?

is it a storyline, a mirage, a fantasy..

yes and yes to all.

And still, the extreme discomfort, restless, even though the bubble burst, still a residue of a ghost
Of beliefs piled on top of beliefs, seeing it doesn't makes it any less painful.

There is wanting to get out, get away, change something, do something but what?

This is also GOD, this is also LIFE.

Life is showing up in endless forms, it has a huge range.
The painful ones, the joyous ones.

Is there Joy in the pain? is there joy in experiencing?
Just plain and simple whatever is experienced.

Curious and wanting. I'm not there yet. Or maybe I've been here all along.
Where else could I be?


Just because it appears as something unwanted, which anyway morphs and changes every second
doesn't mean it's not LIFE, GOD all along

expressing itself, unfolding itself, loving itself in myriad forms.



 


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