So I was thinking "Fuck insecurities"
In the sense of they are alright too! just like everything else.

What is insecurity ?

I don't mean in the sense of human logic. But can we actually find one?
I can totally spin stories about a whole bunch, I can hear myself believing and extracting lots of
juice and life out of familiar tales.

I love them. I must. 

sometimes it seems like nofar is one big ball of insecurity.
That sounds about right.

But then again, what is Nofar? where does she start and end?

can anything be defined for sure and finally?

It seems almost crazy sometimes to feel such strong energy of insecurity and all of a sudden move in a completely

free flowing way.

I presume that the stuckness is not in the experience of insecurity but of not wanting to have that experience
what is it even? can I pin it down? is it a thought? just one? a sensation? and another?
does it have a bottom? or an end?

what's interesting is that I talk about it like I know everything there is to know about it.  And I don't.
I fight for it, I defend it. I make up excuses but what is it?

Isn't it more slippery and elusive than I believed?

I don't want to take a closer look some of the time. Even though I know it's an open door to endless discovery of infinity, of aliveness, of freshness, of pure aweness, of deliciousness, of what we all crave, complete intimacy and presence. Full and over flowing here, with what we call sights, and sounds, and tastes and smells and touch and thinking but such a richness
when nothing means anything in particular and all is undivided whole.

And the freedom of being free from needing freedom because the experience is so divinely out of my mind.

.
One definition can not capture a mystery so vast so endless. It hasn't even begun.
 


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